when will be the next...

I had a conversation with my colleague...and it goes like this..

Setting...office...at our own station...after talking about the end of the world...

C: Pag naaalala ko talaga 'tong story na 'to naiiyak ako.

C2: bakit naman?

Me: (nakikinig)

C: It's about my Lola kasi, she died long time a go pero this memory still hunts me. We were passing Baclaran Church, kasama ko si mommy and si lola that time I was the one driving, pag ako panaman ang nagdadrive my mom gets so irritated, gusto niya palaging pauwi...as we were passing there nga, we saw Max's Resto thenbigla na lang sabi ni lola "gusto ko kumain jan."

Nabigla ako kasi this person never asks anything from anyone unless gusto niya talaga. So I looked for a parking space, alam niyo naman sa Baclaran mahirap makahanap. But my mom insisted on going home na lang kasi there are alot of time that week, siya na lang daw bibili next time. Nakakairita. I was thinking na minsan lang naman to and we never had a bonding ni lola. But still i followed my mom.

Laging nakakalimutan ni mommy na bumili ng chicken sa resto na yun every night ganun palagi. One night nakalimutan nanaman niya kaya bumili na lang sa kung saan ng chicken but lola can't eat that night. Nalaman na lang namin na kumalat na yung cancer sa lalamunan niya. (watery eyed na) We felt so guilty, kasi I had the chance to bond with her and simpleng chicken lang hindi ko pa nabigay sa kanya. My mom tried to make it up to her pero hindi na talaga siya makakain and hindi na siya gumaling (crying)

C2: (crying)

ME: (crying)

Come to think of it, my parents were not as strong as before, their skin were not as soft as before, iba na rin ang threshold nila sa pain. Whereas ako, lumalakas, natututo and ....ehem...gumaganda...

Madalas hindi ko napapansin ang effort nila, madalas naiinis ako if they try to correct me, naiirita ako sa mga skinasabi at kwento nila na paulit ulit, minsan jologs na ang taste sa kung anu ano. Basta there are alot of things na mas napapansin ko pa or mas kinaiirita ko pa than concentrating on paano nila ako inalagaan, pinagaral at pinaghirapan.

I had to ask myself:

When will be the next time na makakasama ko sila?


Will I be able to give them what they need?

Can I do for them what they did for me?

Nabigyan ko ba sila ng kailangan nila ng hindi nagdadalawang isip?

And the answers are: Not sure, Ewan, Hindi, Wala, Never... A sad reality, all I was thinking was MY future, ME, MYSELF and I...

When I was a kid, they were my heroes. Sobrang taas ng tingin ko sa kanila. My papa provides for us, boasting aside, he gives me anything I want until now. My mama naman treats us like prrincess, she never let us do anything sa bahay, if she can do it, siya lang gagawa. If there are people na aawayin kami or one of my siblings aawayin niya rin for us. Whenever I wake up in the morning, my things will be arranged beside my bed, my uniform, my baon, my wallet, my bag, books, hanky and even my undergarments and socks(take note, lahat ito color coordinated). Ang hirap talagang isipin na dadating yung time na magiging mahina sila, hindi na nila kaya pang mamasyal, maglakad man lang. I really can't imagine that eh...coz for my eyes they are still the strong heroes.

Masakit man aminin pero there will be a time (malayo pa naman) na mawawala sila sa buhay ko. And as the New Year comes, I'll make sure that the questions above will have "YES" as an answer. Also my new years resolution will include spending more time with them. Hindi ko man mapunan yung ginawa nila for me, mapasaya ko man lang sila at maiparamdam na thankful and Love ko sila hanggat malakas pa sila.