That one October day that turned all into grey and everything seems irreparable, clouds were hindering my path and rain was all over me. There's no adjective available in Merriam to describe what's happening inside; it's beyond hurting, beyond lonely, never hatred but more on longing.
How? Why? What happened? These are the only questions I have in my mind for the past seven months. There were no explanation, no confrontation, not a single clue to help me understand what'd happened to the almost perfect relationship we had. Then, in the middle of it all, there's only one answer, LOVE WASN'T JUST ENOUGH. This reality hurts more than the gesture itself but life must go on. What else is there to do but to be a better person.
Looking back, I have gained more than what I've lost. Yes, it was devastating and self destructive. But still I held on, believing that this experience will somehow help me. And now, I can say that I am reaping the fruits of my sacrifice.
First fruit, I was able to recognize who my real friends are. You can tag a lot of people as your friend but few of them will help you in need, see you cry, support you at your weakest and will not judge you on your choices in life.
Second fruit, I was able to love and appreciate my family more. Blood is thicker than water, they all say. But for me, I'd rather not see them hurting over me suffering. This was a bad decision on my end as I decided to heal alone , I don't want them to meddle with my trouble that time but when I came back all of them were happy to see me. My family is my treasure, they are the only people that I can easily hurt without me knowing but they seem to love and understand me more on those times I am not willing to to the same for them.
Third fruit, I was able to appreciate and recognize who I really am. When in a relationship, you tend to bend on what you and your partner and relationship needs and you tend to fill out the gaps and traits that are missing just to be as one until you lose your personality. Your world seems to be just for you and your partner and you'll forget how to live on your own. It is not that easy to go back on track after a break up but when you are there you'll be the strongest person to ever walk in this planet.
Fourth fruit, I've learned to socialize. Dating and finding the right man is another thing. Being released into the wild, I must say is super scary at times, but I've learned to enjoy the ride. Being single was never that bad as I thought it was at first.
Last but not the least fruit, I've discovered what I really want to happen in my life. When in a relationship, you are obliged to choose what is better for both of you. But when you are you, you seem to have a different perspective in life and a different dreams than that of what you have had shared with your ex.
Now I am just waiting for someone to share the same dream live it and own it.
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